A Different Light
by weasley.is.my.king1993
Summary: Lily and James have never gotten along throughout their time at Hogwarts. However, when they are struggling with events in their lives, they start to see each other in a different light.


Hello all! I wrote this a while ago but finally decided to post because it's Harry Potter weekend! This is a one-shot about an interaction with Lily and James that allows each of them to see a new side to each other. I hope you enjoy. Please leave a review.

 **A Different Light**

James Potter blinked back a stray tear that was forming in the corner of his eye as he folded the piece of parchment in his hand. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his messy black hair, as he often did in times when he simply didn't have anything else to do. He placed the letter in the pocket of his robes; he would reply in the morning. It was the same as the past few had been, coming each week since school began almost two months before. His father was ill, and each time his mother wrote, things only seemed to be getting worse.

Both James's parents were elderly, they had him late in life, and he knew that they wouldn't be always be around—even wizards didn't live forever—but facing the fact that his father was dying was something that James wasn't quite sure he would ever be able to handle. All he could do was read the letters his mother sent-letters that he requested she write honestly despite her protests—and respond as optimistically as he could. He desperately hoped his father could hold on until he left Hogwarts. He couldn't let his mother be on her own, and he had already made a deal with himself that he would have to leave school if the worst were to happen. He'd have to speak to Dumbledore about finishing next year, or some other way, if it came down to that.

James went to pull the parchment back out and to read the letter again, but he stopped himself. Reading the letter over again wouldn't do anything. It wouldn't help. He left it in his pocket and headed up the stairs for bed. It was already late and everyone else, even Sirius, was in bed.

James couldn't sleep. It was impossible. It was always difficult whenever he got one of the letters, but this time was even worse. All he could think about was his father being so sick, his mother spending her days caring for him alone, and his feeling guilty for being away at school. Lying still became too much for James. He was always doing something and he couldn't stand that there wasn't anything he could do to help his father. He decided to sneak down to the kitchens for a cup of tea. He did this every so often, more recently this year, and the house elves always loved to have him.

He slowly rose out of bed and quietly put on his robe; he didn't want to wake his friends. They knew that his father was ill, but James didn't discuss his feelings with them; not even with Sirius. He didn't want them to see him upset; he could barely stand seeing himself that way. He slipped his invisibility cloak over himself and headed out of the portrait. He and the Marauders had left the common room so many times in the dead of night under the cloak that the Fat Lady didn't even question him anymore.

A few minutes later, after winding through some shortcuts and passages, James found himself outside of the portrait that led to the kitchen. He tickled the pear and it swung open. Once he was inside and had taken off the cloak, three house elves came running towards him, ready to take any order he wanted.

"Good evening, Master James," said one of the elves. "We have been wondering when you would return."  
"What would you like Master James," said another, "some left over pudding from dinner, or some pumpkin juice, or some butter beer maybe, sir?"

"I would love a cup of tea, if it's not too much trouble," he said.

"Oh it is no trouble at all, no trouble at all sir. We loves to serve you, Master James," the house elves said almost in unison. "Have a seat sir, and we will get you your cup of tea."

"Would you like another cup of tea, miss?" The house elves asked. James turned and looked at a small table set up in the corner of the room. It was where he normally sat and drank his tea. At the table, clad in a soft green robe that matched her eyes with her red hair cascading down her back, was Lily Potter.

"Sorry," she said as she stood. "I was just leaving."

"No, it's ok," James said. "You don't have to leave because of me, finish your tea." James had been chasing Lily since his third year, after he'd spent his first two years despising her. She had made every effort to let him know that she was not interested. He attempted to flirt with her and he fought with her mercilessly, but he just didn't feel like it today. He didn't have any comments to make. He just wanted to sit with his tea and to think.

As James sat across from Lily, he watched her sip her tea, and he noticed that her eyes were red around the edges, like she had been crying. He also noticed a sadness, not even from her eyes, but just from her air. Lily was confident and she always had a remark for James, but today she made no effort. She merely sat and sipped her tea, and stared into her cup.

James didn't really feel like talking, but he wasn't one for silence, so he had to say something to her.

"So, I didn't expect you to be down here after hours," he said. "That's not really Head Girl behavior." He was joking, but not the sarcastic way he normally did. He wanted to make her laugh, to make her say something back; anything, or just to stop looking so broken for a minute.

"Well, it's not exactly Head Boy behavior either," she said flatly. She wasn't angry.

"Well, I mean, it's me. I'm not really the poster child for Head Boy behavior," he said laughing at himself awkwardly.

"That's true," she agreed. She took another sip.

The silence was interrupted as a house elf brought his tea to the table and refilled Lily's cup.

"Would you be wanting anything else sir?" The house elf asked.

"No thank you," he answered. "This is great. You can head off to bed. I'll clean it up myself."

"You won't be having to clean your own cups," the house elf responded. "We'll be happy to do it, sit."

"It's really fine," James insisted. "I want to. I'm just going to sit a while. You all go ahead to bed."

"Thank you very much, sir." The house elf nodded and disappeared with a small "crack."

James snuck a look at Lily, while he sipped his tea. She looked so sad, and so hurt. He'd never seen her look like that before. He wanted to know what was wrong.

"So, what brings you down here in the middle of the night?" He asked.

"Couldn't sleep," she responded. "You?"

"Same," he answered. He took another sip and waited to see if Lily would say anything else, but she didn't.

"Any particular reason why?"

Lily looked slightly taken aback. "Why do you ask?" She looked skeptical.

"No reason, you just look," he was looking for the right words. "You just look like something's bothering you, and well, if you want to talk about it, you can tell me." James had imagined saying a lot of things to Lily, but that was not one of them. He wasn't even sure why he said it, or why he thought Lily would want to tell him anything, but it felt like the right thing to do.

"It's nothing much, it's just…my sister," she said.

"Petunia?"

Lily tilted her head quizzically. "How do you know my sister's name?"

James paused for a minute, trying to remember himself. "You've mentioned her before, in the common room I think." Really, James knew that he listened to everything Lily said, but he wasn't about to tell Lily that.

"Oh, well yes, it's Petunia."

"Is she…OK?" James asked.

"She's fine, great actually." Lily answered. "She's just gotten engaged." It looked like it hurt Lily to say the words aloud.

"Oh well, that's…good," James said. He wasn't sure what was appropriate to say. "Do you not like her fiancé?" he asked.

"I don't really know him," Lily said.

"Oh," he said. "Well, I'm sure it's worrisome to not know who your sister is going to marry, but I'm sure he's a nice bloke." James didn't have any siblings so he really wasn't sure, but he tried to think of how he would react if he didn't know who Sirius was marrying, and that was the best he could think of at the moment.

"It's not that, it's just…" she paused as if she was debating about whether to keep talking or not. "She's been engaged since last week. And I just found out today…from my mother. She…she wanted to wait in case Petunia wanted to tell me first, and when she found out that Petunia hadn't told me yet, she decided to write."

"Oh," was all James could bring himself to say.

"My mum thinks that Petunia is just so excited that it slipped her mind to write me because she can't get in touch with me any other way, but it's not that. I know it's not."

"What is it then?"

"She doesn't want me to know. She doesn't want me to be a part of her life anymore."

"I'm sure it's not that. Your mum's probably right. Women go mad when they get engaged, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to tell you all about it when you get home in the summer."

"No," Lily shook her head sadly and tears began to form in her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but she was unsuccessful. "She doesn't approve of me, of magic, or my life here. She never has. We used to be best friends. We told each other everything. We stayed up all night talking about our weddings and our husbands and what our children's names would be. When I found out I was a witch, everything changed. We drifted apart, and we were never as close. I used to write her, and I know my mum forced her to respond to me, but since she finished school and starting dating Vernon, that's her fiancé, she hasn't written a word to me. When I was home over the summer and she came to visit, she barely spoke to me. Now she's getting married, and she didn't even want me to know." The tears were rolling silently down Lily's cheeks now, and she brushed them away. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to saddle you with all that, it's just…we were always very close, and it's been very difficult."

James thought for a moment. He had never been in this situation before, so he wasn't sure how to handle it, but he knew he had to be careful with his word choice. "Don't be sorry," he said. "It's probably good for you to talk about it. Get it off your chest and all that. I don't have any siblings, but I know it must be really hard to lose touch with someone you were so close to. I know you're sad, and you think it won't get any better, but maybe it will. You'll be done school in a few months, and you'll get to go home. Maybe you can talk to her, and give it another go."

"Yeah, maybe."

"And even if you do, and she's not ready, then you've done all you can do, and you can just give her some time to come around," James wasn't sure where that answer came from, but it sounded like something his mother would say, and again he felt like it was the right thing to say.

"I hope so."

The two sipped their tea in silence for a few moments, really for something to do. It had gotten considerably cooler since James started drinking it, but he had to have something to do.

"So why couldn't you sleep?" Lily said. She was holding the cup in her hands, but looking at James right in the eyes. James did not like talking about it, but somehow he felt that, despite their history, Lily did really want to hear.

"Oh, I just got a letter from my mum."

"Is everything alright?"

"It's just my dad…he's err…he's not been doing well lately."

"I'm sorry," Lily said, looking down at the cup in her hands. "Has he been sick for a long time?"

"Not too long. It really started at the end of last term, and it's just gotten a lot worse."

"Oh, I remember. It was right after our Charms Exam."

James stared at Lily. How had she known? Right after their Charms exam was the first letter he had gotten from his mother. Telling him that something was wrong with his father.

"Yeah, how did you know that?"

"Oh," Lily tried to think. How had she known? She just remember seeing James after the exam, sitting alone and looking very sad, and running his hands through his hair. "I just remember seeing you read the letter in the common room, and you looked like something was wrong, that's all."

"Oh."

"Has he seen a healer? Is there anything they can do?"

"Yeah, he's been to Saint Mungo's, but there's really nothing they can do. My parents, well, their pretty up in age, and…and I'm afraid that he's not really going to be here much longer." James was surprised by the release of a tightness in his chest that he didn't know was there. He hadn't allowed to say the words aloud, not even to himself. Confessing them to Lily had felt so nice. It felt like for just a minute, someone else could worry with him.

"I'm so sorry, James," Lily said, and the way she was looking at him told James that she truly meant it.

"I can't imagine going through that." Lily felt so foolish for going on and on about her sister. Yes, she and Petunia were not close anymore and Lily was hurt, but James was losing a parent, and he didn't even have any siblings to share that burden.

"Yeah, well, like I said, I've always known that it was coming, but it…it feels really different now that's here."

"I understand that, and I'm just so sorry. It must be so difficult to worry about that and keep your mind on school and on Quidditch of course," she smiled.

"Yeah, it is. I've already made the decision that if anything happens I'm leaving for the year to be with them, especially my mum."

He expected Lily, who was studious and entirely focused on her education to chastise him and to explain logically why he had to stay in school, but she didn't.

"Well of course, you'd want to be with them if anything happened," she said. "Have you talked to Dumbledore about it yet? I'm sure he would help you. He's very understanding."

"No, I haven't said anything yet. I haven't really said anything to anyone yet. I'm kind of just taking it one day at a time. I don't really want to deal with it until I absolutely have to, you know?"

"Yes, I do." Lily couldn't identify this strange feeling that she had-was it gratitude—that she felt when James told her that he hadn't talked to anyone about it yet. "You know James," Lily began. James was surprised, he didn't think that Lily had even called him by first name before. "I don't know your father, but I know that's lucky to have you as a son, and I know that he's very glad that he has had that time with you that he has."

"Thanks," James muttered. He felt his ears tinging red and he ran his hand through his hair.

The two sat in silence for another moment as they finished their cups of tea.

"Well," Lily said as she stood, "I think I'm going to head to bed. It's really late now, and we've got transfiguration first thing tomorrow." She cleaned her cup with the wave of her wand and then sent it flying back into a huge cabinet full of cups and dishes that was standing along the back wall. "Are you coming up as well? You've got transfiguration too, and I'm sure you'll have homework to finish tomorrow morning." Lily smiled. She only wanted to tease him a little, just to see if he could cheer up, even for a moment.

"That's all true," James said with a smile. "I'm just going to sit here for a while."

"Alright," she offered a small half smile and headed toward the door.

"I'll see you in the morning, Lily" James said, as he lifted his tea cup as a gesture of goodbye.

Lily turned, "goodnight, James." James watched Lily disappear through the portrait. He couldn't help but think that even though he had known Lily for seven years, had taken almost all the same classes, had shared the same common room, and ate at the same table in the great hall, that he was seeing her in a different light. She was less proud, and less guarded, and he could definitely get used to hearing her call him James.

As Lily made her way up the stairs, she couldn't help but dwell on the conversation she just had. Even though she had known James, and been taunted by him, for seven years, she couldn't help but feel that she was seeing him a whole different light. He was less arrogant and less careless, and she could maybe get used to hearing him call her Lily.


End file.
